One Month

Hello hello hello

It has been a long time since I have posted, and lot of that has to do with me being very busy, having internet at sporadic times of the day, and being a little bit lazy. 

  The past couple weeks have been good. Kind of uneventful, but good. I went to Sevilla last weekend, which was very fun. We (Juan, Mila, and myself) stayed with Mila's nephews, a pair of triplets who have lived together in Sevilla for 4 years. Joaquin, Salvador, and Angel, are crazy and so much fun! They all speak very quickly and all kind of look alike, so that was a challenge on its own. We were in Sevilla because a friend of Juan's wrote a book about post war Yugoslavia and was presenting it in an old abandoned hat factory. Sevilla is beautiful, even though it rained the whole weekend.

School is ok. I am in the equivalent of a freshman class, which is kind of lame, but the classes are easier and it was the only room they had at the school. I am the oldest person in the class by almost 2 years, but whatever. My classmates are all AMAZED that I am from San Francisco. They huddle around me and ask me questions almost all of the time. And almost all of the students want to practice their "English" as well. This is how the conversation usually goes.   

"I can espeik englis."

"Vale, pero, solo espanol porque yo quiero aprendir espanol." 

"Yeees, but I can espeik englis. luk--do you, do you, ummmm, how do you say...."

And so on and so forth. But its all in good fun. All of my teachers are very nice and understanding, except for one, my Chemistry teacher. The first time I turned in my homework, she gave it back to me and said "Madre mia! You need help, what you have here is not Spanish, and it is not expectable." I was kind of in shock but honestly, who cares that much. Of COURSE I can't do Chemistry homework in SPANISH in a way that makes sense. I have been here for one month. So suck it. 

I think the strangest thing about school is the half hour break we have at 11. If you are over 18, you can get a pass to leave campus. I don't know how, but I got one, which is quite nice. So, the first time I went off campus (meaning outside of the green gate that locks the students in), I was SO surprised to see my teachers smoking. It was the strangest thing ever, coming from Marin, where teachers have posters hanging in their room about the dangers of smoking. 

What else? If you want a letter, please send me your address......

But yes, things are going really well for me at this point in time, but I still can't wrap my head around the idea that I am going to be living here for 8 more months!

OH YEA! Here is a funny story. Many classmates have asked me if I believe in G-D, and I just say yes so I don' t have to explain myself any further. The question that follows is "are you catholic, Protestant....." And I then say, No, I am a Jew. But I say Jew like huee, in Spanish accent, and STILL get looks of confusion. And when they still don't understand, I say hannukah, candles, killers of Jesus (just kidding). But, once they finally understand, the usual response is " I have never met a huee before." and then a long awkward silence. 

hahahaa

xoxo. 

10,000 Leagues Under the Sea...or something.

Last night was crazy. Why? Pull up a chair and let me tell you.

Mila, Juan, and I decided to have dinner (and then spend the night) at Mila´s parents ¨campo¨(a large piece of land with many houses, animals, people, gardens), so we brought two large pizzas at around 10:00 pm for dinner. Mila has 12 other brothers and sisters, and every weekend, they all take turns spending the night to be with their parents. This weekend, it was Pili´s turn, and we joined in the fun. It had been raining off and on all day, and the wind had been VERY strong. As we drove over the the campo, we saw lightening in the distance, but didn´t think twice about it. Dinner was something in itself. Mila´s dad, Joaquin, is missing all of his teeth, speaks very quickly, often with food in his mouth, and likes to tell jokes. He also couldn´t understand why I am a vegetarian. So, mix all of that together, and you get me, very confused and a little bit concerned. But, basically as dinner ended, at around midnight, Joaquin told me that tomorrow I would be eating ham. I think not.

So, off we go to bed. Mila, Juan, Violeta, Pili, and Thomas (a nephew visiting from Greece). As we walk to the house we will be staying at, the wind picks up, and oh man-- it is so so so strong. The house we are staying in is quite nice and cozy. Pili gets one bedroom, Mila and Juan get the other, Thomas gets the couch, and I get a mattress on the floor with a mountain of blankets. We all stayed up and talked for a while, and turn off the lights at around 1:00. As soon as the lights go out, holy mother of god, the storm began.

First it was the lightening, flashing very two minutes, then the thunder (a great rumbling roar that shook the house), and the wind, whipping away at the olive tree outside the windows. Then, suddenly, the rain. Oh man. It was CRAZY. This lasted for a long time, and I would drift off to sleep and SUDDENLY a bang would wake me up. The power of nature is amazing. At around 5:00, I heard water dripping, but I didn´t think twice about it. Not at all. At 5:30, I saw a figure creep toward me, and in a FLASH of lightening, I saw it was Mila. I used my cellphone as a flashlight and we tried to turn on the lights, but guess what....yep, the electricity went out. So we searched for a lighter (luckily Thomas is a smoker) and lit a candle. There was water. Inside the house. Dripping from doorframes. Getting the tips of my blankets wet. I stood up, and followed Mila to the door, where she ran outside, with a plastic cover over her head to grab the mop.

So, yes. I held the candle as Mila mopped up the house. This is, once again, at 5:30 am. Thomas and Pili stayed asleep. How, I really don´t know. After placing dishes under the leaking doorframes, we blew out the candle and went to sleep. The storm was still raging. At around 6:30, there was total silence. It just ended. And I then slept until about 9:00 am.

As I went outside to survey the damage (not much, luckily) I saw Mila´s mom collecting snails in a large bucket. She grabbed my arm and explained that these snails would be cooked with rice. Not for you, she exclaimed, but for me. I eat meat. You don´t.

After breakfast (we went out) Mila´s mother told me with a huge smile "at my house, we always have fun. always"

Oh wait! I forgot to mention that as we unlocked the car to go to the restaurant, the half of the car was flooded as well.

lots of love,
violeta

A smile!!

Helllllooooooo.

well, well, well, it has been a long time since I have had internet, and let me tell you, A LOT has changed. Meaning, I have a brand new Spanish family!! YAY! and guess who is my new Spanish madre? None-other than Mila herself. Yep, thats right. I have just moved in with Mila and her novio Juan. That means, that I have moved cities and schools. That also means that I don´t have school until monday! A mini vacation!

Switching families was a terribly stressing experience. There was SO MUCH miscommunication and honestly, no communication at all and it made everyones life a million times harder. I don´t think that Rebecca and Joe have slept a full night over a week. Yep. That is how it has been for a very long time. Do I feel guilty for leaving Fini and her family behind? Yes. Jew guilt courses through my veins with a vengeance. I feel bad that I wasn´t strong enough to live with them. I feel bad that I left so suddenly and without explination. and I feel bad because I thought I was different person. Oh well. I don´t like thinking about it, so I am not going to. And the first two hours with my new host family has been full of smiles and laughs. I made the right decision.

Today is Tuesday. I moved out of the Romera Rueda household on Thursday night. So where did I stay? With a woman named Marisa, a person who is especially called upon for "emergencies" with families. Marisa is a fun, bubbly, and very happening young Spanish woman who loves to dance the Salsa and who works at a phone store. Staying with her was fun and showed me what its like to be the loser roommate who is always home, reading. But it was fun. The best part of living with her was this-- Monday morning (I went to bed before she got home at 12 30) and when I got up at 7 for school, the toilet seat was up. hmmmmmm. Then as I brushed my teeth, I heard a man talking. WHAT! I lingered in the hallway, trying to get a glimps of this (possible) guy, but he didn´t show, so I thought it was the T.V. or something. Then, as I was making toast for breakfast, I heard coughing and then the door closed. Then silence. WHAT? When I got home from school, I asked Marisa ¿Hay un chica en la casa este noche? the response was simply ¨Si"
¡Que suave...! I said again, hoping to get some details. "Es mi novio Raul. Did he bother you this morning? I asked him to leave without talking to you.....¨ And that was that.

So, here I am. Happy, healthy (but putting on pounds!), and s-l-o-w-l-y learning Spanish. I have joined a gym and start taking Pilates three times a week very soon. The food here is good, the OLIVES. OH MY GOD. They are so good. I could eat a whole jar without stopping. The food is very rich, and often lacks in lots of spice or flavors. But all is well. My favorite part of Spain is the way the day is set up. Things open at 9, close at 2:30 for everyone to go home and eat and sleep and then open again at 6:00 until 11. Its quite nice. What else? oh yes, here is my address. for real this time. I PROMISE.

Violet Elson
Adva/Alameda
Solano 2, 3-E
Chiclana de la Frontera, Cadiz, Spain
11130

xoxox
I will post photos of the beaches here ASAP.

a change in tone.

over the past 10 days, i have felt more emotions, shed more tears, and felt more stupid than i have in a good 16 years combined. I became the girl i hate. the one who complains, who judges, who doesn't communicate, doesn't see beyond, and worst of all, becomes negative. I acted a big fat fool. I didn't see what i have here in spain, (a whole country!!) and what i have back home (a loving family, loving friends, and tons of support). 

so, from now on, these post will only be for positive things. i will think positive, i will learn spanish, make friends, and take advantage of this experience. it will be hard. it is hard. it is frustrating and very emotional. and i will get through this laughing and come back with an amazing new sense of the world and myself. 

please stay patient with me and know that for all the bitching and moaning i do, i really don't have anything to complain about. 

xoxoxo. 

violeta

Dreaming

I had a dream last night that I was back in Strawberry Village. I was with my friends and family. Peter Winkler was there too. I haven't been that happy in over 10 days. When I awoke, I was filled with joy, and then I remembered that I am three billion miles away from everything that is familiar to me. 

When I went outside to catch the bus for school, I saw the moon for the first time in Spain. 

It was a tiny sliver. 

When I left California, it was full. 

I was listening to Brett Dennen.

"Hold this heart when I go

Sing my song when I go

Sing it loud when I go

Sing it proud when I go

Some people are learning to die and some people are yearning to fly 

but I know that they'd all be yearning to fly"

I met an amazing person yesterday. Her name is Mila, and she is a friend of a friend and lived in the U.S. for 7 years. She now lives in the next town over, and took me under her wing. We went to her parents large "campo" (piece of land), where I was greeted by 4 out of her 12 siblings. They piece of land they have is amazing. There are two houses on it, and one more is being built by Mila and her brothers. Mila's mother greeted me with many kisses and immediately began showing me family photos. There is so much love in that family that I brought tears to my eyes. Before lunch was served, I wandered around the houses, and stumbled upon 6 kittens, less than two months old. They were so cute, and my heart melted. I didn't have my digi-camera, but next time I go (which is soon i hope :) I will take lots of photos. After a long lunch, and more chatting, Mila took me and Michael to a beautiful beach in Chiclana. I found a shell that I will make into a necklace. Everytime I touch that shell, I will be reminded of the strength and love Mila has, and hope to one day be as kind as her. 

Mila is trying to get a small hosting/teaching project off the ground, so if anyone is interested in living in Chiclana for a short amount of time and wants to learn the Spanish culture and the Spanish way of life, then please let me know, and I will give you Mila's contact information. 

Things are getting better. I am slowly learning Spanish. 

One week down, 35 to go.  

Violeta

My brain hurts.

Oh man. It is only Thursday, but I feel as if it should be at least the middle of October. Time drips by slowly, almost painfully. Being lonely sucks. Not being able to speak Spanish sucks. My negative attitude sucks. But, yesterday I had a lot of fun. I didn't have school, and spent the night in Chiclana, a neighboring city, with Nazaret, (my host sister), and her exchange student, Michael. Michael is a super fun, super gay black man who is one year older than me and is from San Diego. We walked around Chiclana for many, many hours. Getting lost, stepping in poop, and buying candy at little corner store shops. We left Nazaret's apartment at 3:30, and she warned us that everything was going to be closed because it is the afternoon and nothing is open until 6:00. We didn't believe her, but, everything was closed. We returned to the apartment at 6:00 and left for San Fernando at 8:30. As we walked to the bus, Michael and I were taken aback. There were TONS of people about. It was cool, the sun was setting, and everything was open. The Spaniards are funny people. They wake at around 9:00 am, break for lunch at 2:30, go home, sleep, and eat, then open the stores/return to work at around 6:00 pm and stay open until around 1:00 am. Its a nice way of life, but its takes times getting used to. 

In reference to the title: P.E. in Spain. I have come upon the conclusion that no matter where one is, all P.E. teachers are the same. When I first met my teacher, all I could do was laugh. He looks just like all of my physical education teachers combined. He is older, kind fat, and baulding, with a very deep voice. He wears sweatpants pulled up to his waist and a whistle. I forgot how much I dislike P.E. No one likes, but still countless students are forced to suffer through it. The teacher (I forgot his name....Fernandez, maybe.....) jokes around with the students, making fun of them, and other such things. The other P.E. teacher is a small woman, who is, once again, just like all the other female P.E. teachers I have ever had. I don't know if these thoughts have a point.  Oh yes, P.E. is the same no matter where you are, but the main difference between Mr. Oefinger and Mr. Fernandez is this: I am 95% sure that Mr. Fernandez is sexually harassing the girls in my class......

I can't even explain how hard school is. I don't understand anything, no one understand me, and the teachers aren't quite sure how to grade my work. I am taking: Biology, Geology, P.E., Philosophy, History, Chemistry, Math, Project Planning, English, French, Spanish Literature, and Physical Science.  The worksheets they give me are so beyond my level that it takes the whole class period to translate one paragraph. Then I feel like an asshole for not being able to understand. And it is very boring. I have no idea what is going on. at all. When 2:30 rolls around, and I am free to leave, my head hurts so much, my jaw hurts (from grinding), and my eyes hurt from looking through the tiny print of my dictionary. 

I can't stop complaining, but I think as time goes on, I will just stop thinking at all. I am trying to upload photos, but it doesn't seem to working. Hopefully the next post will be more positive. It is just hard. Oh well, time will pass and this will be an amazing experience. And thank you everyone for the positive thoughts and well wishes. They mean a lot to me. 

Check out my flickr account for the photos.

flickr.com/photos/violetmae 

much love.....

Violeta :) 

There are no words.

I have made it to my host family. Let me just say that Cadiz/San Fernando is like no place I have ever been. I know that I am going to sound like the whitest, richest, and most marin girl ever, but let me just say that this is the ghetto. I mean, its not dangerous, but the buildings are very rundown, there is always the faint smell of sewage and cooking grease, there is patio furiture everywhere, garbage, grafitti, and small children running around screaming. It is very humid, and this morning, I was awoken to the sound of pouring rain. I have never seen a house so small always filled with people. My bedroom is tiny. Smaller than anything i could have ever imagined but it works for what i need it for. It used to be the daughters room, which she shared with her baby and husband. The kitchen is smaller than my bedroom back at 18 venus. It is just about the same size as gideons bedroom. I know this sounds like a lot of compaining, and it is. I just need to get out of this negative mind set, which i seem to be constantly stuck it. There are tvs in every room, and they are always on. I watched the simpsons in Spanish, family guy, spanish soaps (with Fini of course), and ben stillers movies.



There is always food around. And it is not always even Spanish food. Last night, Fini offered me some ¨cocoa especial¨and I expected some exotic spanish chocolate treat, and as i drank it, it tasted vaguly familiar. When I asked Fini what it was, she smiled broadly and said ¨Nesquik!¨ I laughed. Last night, she made me eggs. And because I haven´t eat two fried eggs straight up in over two years, I almost threw up. I felt so bad because she doesn´t really know what to cook for me and she takes great pride in her cooking. I am slowly learning how to bury little bits of cut up food underneath the salad that is on my plate so it looks like i have eaten. I just feel bad. But, I am eating enough, and not going hungry, which is good.

Even though I have only been here for 24 hours, it feels like a loooong time. I guess because I don´t ever know what anyone is saying. You know when you put on a movie in Spanish, watch 10 minutes of it, laugh because you can kinda understand but not really, then switch it to english to truly enjoy the film, well imagine never being able to change it to english.



I am sorry that this post is so unfocused, but the past 24 hours have been so filled with emotions that is hard to sort everything out. I had an hour of school orientation today, which was crazy. Everyone was talking all at once, very fast, all the time. The teacher that I met tried to slow down for me, but i still had no idea what the f was going on. There is an German exchange student in the class named Stephanie, and she has been here for one week longer than me, and her spanish is better and she knows some english, which is quite nice for me. But, it is not her job to help me understand, and I donn´t want to put that burden on her.



People eat at all times during the day here because there is no room for a big sit down meal inside. We would go outside, but it has been raining since I got here. So, I was eating with Fini (who i spend the mst time with) and she asking about Joe being a doctor and so on. She told meabout her life, which was very interesting.

She has 5 sisters, grew up in Cadiz, and her father died when she was very young. She had to leave school when she was 10 or 11 and work in a factory for 12 years to support her family. Then she got married to Rafael, had two kids and is now a housewife. She is the one who mostly takes care of Juan Manuel or ¨juama¨as they call him. Let me just say that Juama is a lot of work. He cries for chocolate all of the time, and when he hits anyone, they just smack him back, which i think is really funny. I think that Rafael drives hearsts for funerals. I think is what he told me, but he is the one who i don´t understand at all. He speaks quickly and his accent is so harsh, that it might as well be russian.

They way they speak here is much different than in northen spain. Instead of lisping, they just drop the ¨s¨altogether. So, escuela becomes cuela. It is very confusing.



I just kind of feel like an ass fuck all of the time. I try so hard to help and speak, but no one understands what i am saying, so i end up making fool of myself.



Final thoughts--



This place has SO SO SO many amazing things to photograph, which gives me something to do. I will post photos in the future. I miss everyone and everything, but i know that this is something that will make me so much stronger and give me a totally new vision of my life. Ok, i have my first full day of school tomorrow and let me just say, FUCK TAM FOR NOT GIVING CREDIT FOR THIS YEAR. this is harder than any god-damn honors or A.P class, and it will impact me so much more.



thanks for reading

much love!

violeta