2008.

Well well well. Look what we have here.....it is 2009, sneaking up on us like a lion stalking its prey.

For my family, two thousand and eight was an emotional and life-changing year. We lost two members of our family, I got my license, Gideon was Bar-Mitzvahed, Ruby has been on this earth for a decade, and of course, I moved to Spain.

My New Year celebration here was not very interesting. I ate the 12 grapes in 12 seconds and then kissed about 50 people on the cheek in less than 2 minutes. I was then invited to a "party" thrown by Mila´s 14 year old niece. The party consisted of 7 people at her parent´s house in a shed/bedroom that was not attacted to the house. When the Nintendo didn´t work, the 7 guests began to question me about California. It was a flashback to Hannah Feldman´s middle school parties. No illegal substances, a half-assed game of spin the bottle that ends on the first spin, but mostly just feeling like an adult.

Christmas was more fun. After everyone ate large amounts of turkey and I had eaten my salad, the music began. The whole family sitting in a circle playing guitars, singing, and dancing. That lasted until 6:00 am.

One would think that the holidays here are done, but that is not true. There is still the 6th of January, which is more like American Christmas. The three kings bring presents in the morning and the festivities last for two days. One of Mila´s nieces (age 7) asked me which king was my favorite. I had NO idea what she was talking about, and answered "King Felipe V of Spain". She looked at me blankly.


What else? Oh yea! I went to Granada for 3 days. It was awesome. The Alhambra is amazing and I had enought luck to be able see everything. I remember two years ago, in a Spanish class at Tam, my Spanish teacher showed pictures of Granada and we spent about a week learning about it. Little did I know that in two short years, I would be over looking the whole city as cold rain made the castle steps slippery.

I hope everyone has a healthy and happy 2009!

Violetaaaa

p.s. check out photos below

Pictorials

Posing in Granada


Mila, Mary Ma y yo at the Alhambra.

Pepa with some yummy fried things covered in honey

The infamous ham leg.

Baking yummies.

Action shot.

¡¡Look Reba, another blog post!!

I didn´t have school Monday because of something relating to Christ and instead, spent the day at the "campo", with my host grandparents. Mila and I got there around 11 am and studied until lunch time, at around 2. Lunch was filled with potatoes, more potatoes, and a fried egg. After lunch, people just started to drift in, one after another, and after about an hour or so, I got up from sitting next to the fire and the house was FULL of people. 6 of Mila´s 12 siblings were there, and then throw in some nieces, nephews, and in-laws, and there you go. People were playing dominoes and every few minuets shushing the people around them.
Suddenly, all of the women (95% of the people there), went into the kitchen to make something sweet relating to Christmas. I, as usual, had no idea what we were going to make, and even though 5 people told me at the same time, I was still in for a surprise. Well, it wasn´t really a surprise. We ended up making little doughnut type things.
Let me paint a picture for you. About 10 Spanish women surrounding a table, rolling dough, with a large ham leg in the center of the table, propped up on this special metal contraption made especially for this ham product, and the smell of the frying dough and sugar covering everything. But first, this ham leg. Oh man. Where to begin? Well, for starters, it is not an uncommon sight here in Cadiz. They are sold in every bar and grocery store, and look like someone cut off the leg of a pig, dipped it in wax, and hung it up to dry. They all have hoof and this particular one had some hair still attached. Imagine my surprise walking into the equivalent to Safeway for the first time to buy bread and coming face to face with what used to be a whole farm of pigs. So, one of these legs was sitting in the middle of table, the hoof sticking up, greeting me in the face, and the rest covered with a cloth.
Everyone is rolling little circles of dough, all talking and laughing at once, breaking into various songs about silly things, and one time, no joke, someone started singing flamenco while everyone else clapped along. But, if there is one thing that Joaquin (host grandpa) won't miss out on is a bunch of women, singing and making fried food. He came into the kitchen, leaned against the table, and watched us all with such contentment in his eyes. Because he has blood sugar problems, he couldn't have the doughnuts covered in sugar, so he got plan ones right out of the fryer. They were at first to hot, and I kid you not, he put the hot doughnut around the hoof of the pig leg to cool. I honestly had to stop what I was going and take a moment so I wouldn't laugh. He looked at me across the table, and with a HUGE toothless smile, pointed to the circular doughnut that was resting, glistening with grease, on top of the hoof. It was too much. At that very moment, I felt oh so very happy to be in a small house, in the countryside, in Cadiz, in Andalucia, in Spain, in Europe, on this Earth.

More to come later!

Violeta

December

I can't believe that it is already December!

Last night, I was watching a video diary I made the first week I got here and it goes a lot like this (now remember, I alone in my room, talking to my computer) "All-sob-I-sob-want-sob-is for it to be December." and more tears. I can't believe how unhappy I was for those first three weeks. I cried more than 3 times every single day. I am not saying that now everyday is amazing and I never get homesick or lonely. I am saying that I have come so far from September that it is a bit scary. I just wish my Spanish was better. Maybe I will post the video when I feel ready to have my puffy, red, and tear-filled face and sobs up on the world wide web. 

Life in Chiclana is crazy. Chiclana is crazy. It is SO unlike any place I have ever been and I think the exact polar opposite than Marin. For example, I was explaining to class-mate that I was vegan back in California, and naturally she asked what I ate if I didn't consume animal products and I said a lot of soy products. And she asked me what soy was. I was a bit shocked, considering all of the girls at Tam High School sip Starbucks Soy Chai Lattes during lunch. This classmate had no idea why a person would want to drink milk that comes from bean instead of the perfectly normal milk that comes from a cows teet. Speaking of not being dairy products, I actually really miss being vegan. I had a week or so when I couldn't get enough cheese (which ended badly) but now, honestly, I would rather be vegan. I DID feel healthier and overall, the vegan lifestyle is something I miss. Oh well. 

Let me just describe Chiclana in a little more detail. I live exactly in the center (called El Pajaro), which is really handy, considering I know a lot people who live in the countryside and it is a huge hassle to get to the city. Chiclana is divided by a man-made river which often reeks of shit and never really has any water. There are many bridges decorating the muddy banks. The streets are small, cobble-stoned, lined with trash and stray animals, and a lot of homemade motor scooters, which are the worst things in the world. They are loud and smelly, and often driven by teenager boys in tracksuits, face-piercings, rings, and mullets.  I think one of the strangest things about living in the middle of a city, is the noise. Now, let me clarify that Chiclana is not that noisy. But the apartment right next to my room is home a newborn baby, which is AWESOME. I hear every cry that little Spaniard makes. It is not that bad.  Worse for the parents. 

What else is there to say? I still don't really have any friends my age. I sometimes go out with a mix of Spanish kids and International kids, but honestly it is not that fun. I actually spend a lot of time with Mila and her friends. Yep. I feel bad that I keep tagging along, but I have fun and they don't seem to mind me. I think it is a good sign that Mila still invites me out with her. Mila's family is so cool. Every Friday, her nieces come over for English class. Manuela is 7 and her twin sisters are 4. They are SO CUTE. I can't even begin to explain how funny they are. Lucia and Carlota often announce their bathroom habits to everyone, so I taught them to say "I'm POOOOOOPING!" whenever in the bathroom. It is really funny. 

Oh! Here is something that gave me a bit of a shock In school, we had a speaker come in and talk about Domestic Violence (which is a big issue here) and at the end, invited kids to share experiences if they felt comfortable.  One girl said that her dad used to hit her mom, and but now he has a job. But, to say that he was truly sorry, he got a tattoo of his wife's face on his forearm. When the class heard that, people started clapping and nodding their heads. I guess things like that are not so uncommon. 

Well that is about it. I am going to try to post more often and actually function better. 

Today is World AIDS Day. A moment of silence for those who have been affected by AIDS or HIV. 

Las Palmas!

Don´t really know how to start this blog post. But here I go---

So I have kind of, unofficially, have been to Africa! That is right, I spent last weekend in the Canary Islands. We left Thursday morning, took a train to Sevilla, and then took a plane to Las Palmas. We happened to be on the same plane as Maria del Mar, Mila´s sister, which was cool.

Everyday of the 4 day trip was basically the same. Very relaxing, a lot of food, a lot of walking, and then a free world music festival at night. The music festival was called WOMAD and featured musicians from all over the world, but specifically Africa. There was this one older woman from the Sahara Desert who had a lot of henna and could sing/yodel like no other. There was a mountain of hippies and little hippie shop type things.

Now the food. Where to begin??
Well, I ate my weight in papas arrugada, queso frito, and gofio (I am talking gofio ice cream, gofio mousse, and just plain gofio.) Gofio is a corn type paste and those potatoes, oh man. Little potatoes boiled with salt and eaten with a spicy tomato mojo. YUMMY.

The beaches were really cool too. The sand is black because the island was formed from a volcano. The water was cold and there was always a slight breeze. I promise to post photos on this blog later.

Mila´s other sister, Nieve, lives on the island and has a HUGE house, over looking (what felt like) the whole island. From her house you could see the huge banana and tomato plantations and the many little different colored houses perched upon jagged hillsides. She and husband had just gotten back from Cambodia and Vietnam and showed us some awesome pictures.

I am so lucky that I got to go! And being there, for only four days made me want to live on an island, for at least 6 months. Cadiz is technically an island, but I want to live some place tropical.
And let me tell you, Cadiz is not tropical. It is cold. Very cold. Thank god there is some sun this week or else I think my hands would freeze off. It is actually not that cold and will get a lot colder, but shit man, compared to Marin County, I am in the Arctic. I do recall a certain Intrax coordinator telling me that is always warm in Cadiz and not to bring warm clothes. Oh well. Mila lets me wear her old jackets and boots from Minnesota, so I am all set.

That is all for now! Thanks for reading and look for photos ASPAP!

much love,
Violetita

One Month

Hello hello hello

It has been a long time since I have posted, and lot of that has to do with me being very busy, having internet at sporadic times of the day, and being a little bit lazy. 

  The past couple weeks have been good. Kind of uneventful, but good. I went to Sevilla last weekend, which was very fun. We (Juan, Mila, and myself) stayed with Mila's nephews, a pair of triplets who have lived together in Sevilla for 4 years. Joaquin, Salvador, and Angel, are crazy and so much fun! They all speak very quickly and all kind of look alike, so that was a challenge on its own. We were in Sevilla because a friend of Juan's wrote a book about post war Yugoslavia and was presenting it in an old abandoned hat factory. Sevilla is beautiful, even though it rained the whole weekend.

School is ok. I am in the equivalent of a freshman class, which is kind of lame, but the classes are easier and it was the only room they had at the school. I am the oldest person in the class by almost 2 years, but whatever. My classmates are all AMAZED that I am from San Francisco. They huddle around me and ask me questions almost all of the time. And almost all of the students want to practice their "English" as well. This is how the conversation usually goes.   

"I can espeik englis."

"Vale, pero, solo espanol porque yo quiero aprendir espanol." 

"Yeees, but I can espeik englis. luk--do you, do you, ummmm, how do you say...."

And so on and so forth. But its all in good fun. All of my teachers are very nice and understanding, except for one, my Chemistry teacher. The first time I turned in my homework, she gave it back to me and said "Madre mia! You need help, what you have here is not Spanish, and it is not expectable." I was kind of in shock but honestly, who cares that much. Of COURSE I can't do Chemistry homework in SPANISH in a way that makes sense. I have been here for one month. So suck it. 

I think the strangest thing about school is the half hour break we have at 11. If you are over 18, you can get a pass to leave campus. I don't know how, but I got one, which is quite nice. So, the first time I went off campus (meaning outside of the green gate that locks the students in), I was SO surprised to see my teachers smoking. It was the strangest thing ever, coming from Marin, where teachers have posters hanging in their room about the dangers of smoking. 

What else? If you want a letter, please send me your address......

But yes, things are going really well for me at this point in time, but I still can't wrap my head around the idea that I am going to be living here for 8 more months!

OH YEA! Here is a funny story. Many classmates have asked me if I believe in G-D, and I just say yes so I don' t have to explain myself any further. The question that follows is "are you catholic, Protestant....." And I then say, No, I am a Jew. But I say Jew like huee, in Spanish accent, and STILL get looks of confusion. And when they still don't understand, I say hannukah, candles, killers of Jesus (just kidding). But, once they finally understand, the usual response is " I have never met a huee before." and then a long awkward silence. 

hahahaa

xoxo. 

10,000 Leagues Under the Sea...or something.

Last night was crazy. Why? Pull up a chair and let me tell you.

Mila, Juan, and I decided to have dinner (and then spend the night) at Mila´s parents ¨campo¨(a large piece of land with many houses, animals, people, gardens), so we brought two large pizzas at around 10:00 pm for dinner. Mila has 12 other brothers and sisters, and every weekend, they all take turns spending the night to be with their parents. This weekend, it was Pili´s turn, and we joined in the fun. It had been raining off and on all day, and the wind had been VERY strong. As we drove over the the campo, we saw lightening in the distance, but didn´t think twice about it. Dinner was something in itself. Mila´s dad, Joaquin, is missing all of his teeth, speaks very quickly, often with food in his mouth, and likes to tell jokes. He also couldn´t understand why I am a vegetarian. So, mix all of that together, and you get me, very confused and a little bit concerned. But, basically as dinner ended, at around midnight, Joaquin told me that tomorrow I would be eating ham. I think not.

So, off we go to bed. Mila, Juan, Violeta, Pili, and Thomas (a nephew visiting from Greece). As we walk to the house we will be staying at, the wind picks up, and oh man-- it is so so so strong. The house we are staying in is quite nice and cozy. Pili gets one bedroom, Mila and Juan get the other, Thomas gets the couch, and I get a mattress on the floor with a mountain of blankets. We all stayed up and talked for a while, and turn off the lights at around 1:00. As soon as the lights go out, holy mother of god, the storm began.

First it was the lightening, flashing very two minutes, then the thunder (a great rumbling roar that shook the house), and the wind, whipping away at the olive tree outside the windows. Then, suddenly, the rain. Oh man. It was CRAZY. This lasted for a long time, and I would drift off to sleep and SUDDENLY a bang would wake me up. The power of nature is amazing. At around 5:00, I heard water dripping, but I didn´t think twice about it. Not at all. At 5:30, I saw a figure creep toward me, and in a FLASH of lightening, I saw it was Mila. I used my cellphone as a flashlight and we tried to turn on the lights, but guess what....yep, the electricity went out. So we searched for a lighter (luckily Thomas is a smoker) and lit a candle. There was water. Inside the house. Dripping from doorframes. Getting the tips of my blankets wet. I stood up, and followed Mila to the door, where she ran outside, with a plastic cover over her head to grab the mop.

So, yes. I held the candle as Mila mopped up the house. This is, once again, at 5:30 am. Thomas and Pili stayed asleep. How, I really don´t know. After placing dishes under the leaking doorframes, we blew out the candle and went to sleep. The storm was still raging. At around 6:30, there was total silence. It just ended. And I then slept until about 9:00 am.

As I went outside to survey the damage (not much, luckily) I saw Mila´s mom collecting snails in a large bucket. She grabbed my arm and explained that these snails would be cooked with rice. Not for you, she exclaimed, but for me. I eat meat. You don´t.

After breakfast (we went out) Mila´s mother told me with a huge smile "at my house, we always have fun. always"

Oh wait! I forgot to mention that as we unlocked the car to go to the restaurant, the half of the car was flooded as well.

lots of love,
violeta

A smile!!

Helllllooooooo.

well, well, well, it has been a long time since I have had internet, and let me tell you, A LOT has changed. Meaning, I have a brand new Spanish family!! YAY! and guess who is my new Spanish madre? None-other than Mila herself. Yep, thats right. I have just moved in with Mila and her novio Juan. That means, that I have moved cities and schools. That also means that I don´t have school until monday! A mini vacation!

Switching families was a terribly stressing experience. There was SO MUCH miscommunication and honestly, no communication at all and it made everyones life a million times harder. I don´t think that Rebecca and Joe have slept a full night over a week. Yep. That is how it has been for a very long time. Do I feel guilty for leaving Fini and her family behind? Yes. Jew guilt courses through my veins with a vengeance. I feel bad that I wasn´t strong enough to live with them. I feel bad that I left so suddenly and without explination. and I feel bad because I thought I was different person. Oh well. I don´t like thinking about it, so I am not going to. And the first two hours with my new host family has been full of smiles and laughs. I made the right decision.

Today is Tuesday. I moved out of the Romera Rueda household on Thursday night. So where did I stay? With a woman named Marisa, a person who is especially called upon for "emergencies" with families. Marisa is a fun, bubbly, and very happening young Spanish woman who loves to dance the Salsa and who works at a phone store. Staying with her was fun and showed me what its like to be the loser roommate who is always home, reading. But it was fun. The best part of living with her was this-- Monday morning (I went to bed before she got home at 12 30) and when I got up at 7 for school, the toilet seat was up. hmmmmmm. Then as I brushed my teeth, I heard a man talking. WHAT! I lingered in the hallway, trying to get a glimps of this (possible) guy, but he didn´t show, so I thought it was the T.V. or something. Then, as I was making toast for breakfast, I heard coughing and then the door closed. Then silence. WHAT? When I got home from school, I asked Marisa ¿Hay un chica en la casa este noche? the response was simply ¨Si"
¡Que suave...! I said again, hoping to get some details. "Es mi novio Raul. Did he bother you this morning? I asked him to leave without talking to you.....¨ And that was that.

So, here I am. Happy, healthy (but putting on pounds!), and s-l-o-w-l-y learning Spanish. I have joined a gym and start taking Pilates three times a week very soon. The food here is good, the OLIVES. OH MY GOD. They are so good. I could eat a whole jar without stopping. The food is very rich, and often lacks in lots of spice or flavors. But all is well. My favorite part of Spain is the way the day is set up. Things open at 9, close at 2:30 for everyone to go home and eat and sleep and then open again at 6:00 until 11. Its quite nice. What else? oh yes, here is my address. for real this time. I PROMISE.

Violet Elson
Adva/Alameda
Solano 2, 3-E
Chiclana de la Frontera, Cadiz, Spain
11130

xoxox
I will post photos of the beaches here ASAP.

a change in tone.

over the past 10 days, i have felt more emotions, shed more tears, and felt more stupid than i have in a good 16 years combined. I became the girl i hate. the one who complains, who judges, who doesn't communicate, doesn't see beyond, and worst of all, becomes negative. I acted a big fat fool. I didn't see what i have here in spain, (a whole country!!) and what i have back home (a loving family, loving friends, and tons of support). 

so, from now on, these post will only be for positive things. i will think positive, i will learn spanish, make friends, and take advantage of this experience. it will be hard. it is hard. it is frustrating and very emotional. and i will get through this laughing and come back with an amazing new sense of the world and myself. 

please stay patient with me and know that for all the bitching and moaning i do, i really don't have anything to complain about. 

xoxoxo. 

violeta

Dreaming

I had a dream last night that I was back in Strawberry Village. I was with my friends and family. Peter Winkler was there too. I haven't been that happy in over 10 days. When I awoke, I was filled with joy, and then I remembered that I am three billion miles away from everything that is familiar to me. 

When I went outside to catch the bus for school, I saw the moon for the first time in Spain. 

It was a tiny sliver. 

When I left California, it was full. 

I was listening to Brett Dennen.

"Hold this heart when I go

Sing my song when I go

Sing it loud when I go

Sing it proud when I go

Some people are learning to die and some people are yearning to fly 

but I know that they'd all be yearning to fly"

I met an amazing person yesterday. Her name is Mila, and she is a friend of a friend and lived in the U.S. for 7 years. She now lives in the next town over, and took me under her wing. We went to her parents large "campo" (piece of land), where I was greeted by 4 out of her 12 siblings. They piece of land they have is amazing. There are two houses on it, and one more is being built by Mila and her brothers. Mila's mother greeted me with many kisses and immediately began showing me family photos. There is so much love in that family that I brought tears to my eyes. Before lunch was served, I wandered around the houses, and stumbled upon 6 kittens, less than two months old. They were so cute, and my heart melted. I didn't have my digi-camera, but next time I go (which is soon i hope :) I will take lots of photos. After a long lunch, and more chatting, Mila took me and Michael to a beautiful beach in Chiclana. I found a shell that I will make into a necklace. Everytime I touch that shell, I will be reminded of the strength and love Mila has, and hope to one day be as kind as her. 

Mila is trying to get a small hosting/teaching project off the ground, so if anyone is interested in living in Chiclana for a short amount of time and wants to learn the Spanish culture and the Spanish way of life, then please let me know, and I will give you Mila's contact information. 

Things are getting better. I am slowly learning Spanish. 

One week down, 35 to go.  

Violeta

My brain hurts.

Oh man. It is only Thursday, but I feel as if it should be at least the middle of October. Time drips by slowly, almost painfully. Being lonely sucks. Not being able to speak Spanish sucks. My negative attitude sucks. But, yesterday I had a lot of fun. I didn't have school, and spent the night in Chiclana, a neighboring city, with Nazaret, (my host sister), and her exchange student, Michael. Michael is a super fun, super gay black man who is one year older than me and is from San Diego. We walked around Chiclana for many, many hours. Getting lost, stepping in poop, and buying candy at little corner store shops. We left Nazaret's apartment at 3:30, and she warned us that everything was going to be closed because it is the afternoon and nothing is open until 6:00. We didn't believe her, but, everything was closed. We returned to the apartment at 6:00 and left for San Fernando at 8:30. As we walked to the bus, Michael and I were taken aback. There were TONS of people about. It was cool, the sun was setting, and everything was open. The Spaniards are funny people. They wake at around 9:00 am, break for lunch at 2:30, go home, sleep, and eat, then open the stores/return to work at around 6:00 pm and stay open until around 1:00 am. Its a nice way of life, but its takes times getting used to. 

In reference to the title: P.E. in Spain. I have come upon the conclusion that no matter where one is, all P.E. teachers are the same. When I first met my teacher, all I could do was laugh. He looks just like all of my physical education teachers combined. He is older, kind fat, and baulding, with a very deep voice. He wears sweatpants pulled up to his waist and a whistle. I forgot how much I dislike P.E. No one likes, but still countless students are forced to suffer through it. The teacher (I forgot his name....Fernandez, maybe.....) jokes around with the students, making fun of them, and other such things. The other P.E. teacher is a small woman, who is, once again, just like all the other female P.E. teachers I have ever had. I don't know if these thoughts have a point.  Oh yes, P.E. is the same no matter where you are, but the main difference between Mr. Oefinger and Mr. Fernandez is this: I am 95% sure that Mr. Fernandez is sexually harassing the girls in my class......

I can't even explain how hard school is. I don't understand anything, no one understand me, and the teachers aren't quite sure how to grade my work. I am taking: Biology, Geology, P.E., Philosophy, History, Chemistry, Math, Project Planning, English, French, Spanish Literature, and Physical Science.  The worksheets they give me are so beyond my level that it takes the whole class period to translate one paragraph. Then I feel like an asshole for not being able to understand. And it is very boring. I have no idea what is going on. at all. When 2:30 rolls around, and I am free to leave, my head hurts so much, my jaw hurts (from grinding), and my eyes hurt from looking through the tiny print of my dictionary. 

I can't stop complaining, but I think as time goes on, I will just stop thinking at all. I am trying to upload photos, but it doesn't seem to working. Hopefully the next post will be more positive. It is just hard. Oh well, time will pass and this will be an amazing experience. And thank you everyone for the positive thoughts and well wishes. They mean a lot to me. 

Check out my flickr account for the photos.

flickr.com/photos/violetmae 

much love.....

Violeta :) 

There are no words.

I have made it to my host family. Let me just say that Cadiz/San Fernando is like no place I have ever been. I know that I am going to sound like the whitest, richest, and most marin girl ever, but let me just say that this is the ghetto. I mean, its not dangerous, but the buildings are very rundown, there is always the faint smell of sewage and cooking grease, there is patio furiture everywhere, garbage, grafitti, and small children running around screaming. It is very humid, and this morning, I was awoken to the sound of pouring rain. I have never seen a house so small always filled with people. My bedroom is tiny. Smaller than anything i could have ever imagined but it works for what i need it for. It used to be the daughters room, which she shared with her baby and husband. The kitchen is smaller than my bedroom back at 18 venus. It is just about the same size as gideons bedroom. I know this sounds like a lot of compaining, and it is. I just need to get out of this negative mind set, which i seem to be constantly stuck it. There are tvs in every room, and they are always on. I watched the simpsons in Spanish, family guy, spanish soaps (with Fini of course), and ben stillers movies.



There is always food around. And it is not always even Spanish food. Last night, Fini offered me some ¨cocoa especial¨and I expected some exotic spanish chocolate treat, and as i drank it, it tasted vaguly familiar. When I asked Fini what it was, she smiled broadly and said ¨Nesquik!¨ I laughed. Last night, she made me eggs. And because I haven´t eat two fried eggs straight up in over two years, I almost threw up. I felt so bad because she doesn´t really know what to cook for me and she takes great pride in her cooking. I am slowly learning how to bury little bits of cut up food underneath the salad that is on my plate so it looks like i have eaten. I just feel bad. But, I am eating enough, and not going hungry, which is good.

Even though I have only been here for 24 hours, it feels like a loooong time. I guess because I don´t ever know what anyone is saying. You know when you put on a movie in Spanish, watch 10 minutes of it, laugh because you can kinda understand but not really, then switch it to english to truly enjoy the film, well imagine never being able to change it to english.



I am sorry that this post is so unfocused, but the past 24 hours have been so filled with emotions that is hard to sort everything out. I had an hour of school orientation today, which was crazy. Everyone was talking all at once, very fast, all the time. The teacher that I met tried to slow down for me, but i still had no idea what the f was going on. There is an German exchange student in the class named Stephanie, and she has been here for one week longer than me, and her spanish is better and she knows some english, which is quite nice for me. But, it is not her job to help me understand, and I donn´t want to put that burden on her.



People eat at all times during the day here because there is no room for a big sit down meal inside. We would go outside, but it has been raining since I got here. So, I was eating with Fini (who i spend the mst time with) and she asking about Joe being a doctor and so on. She told meabout her life, which was very interesting.

She has 5 sisters, grew up in Cadiz, and her father died when she was very young. She had to leave school when she was 10 or 11 and work in a factory for 12 years to support her family. Then she got married to Rafael, had two kids and is now a housewife. She is the one who mostly takes care of Juan Manuel or ¨juama¨as they call him. Let me just say that Juama is a lot of work. He cries for chocolate all of the time, and when he hits anyone, they just smack him back, which i think is really funny. I think that Rafael drives hearsts for funerals. I think is what he told me, but he is the one who i don´t understand at all. He speaks quickly and his accent is so harsh, that it might as well be russian.

They way they speak here is much different than in northen spain. Instead of lisping, they just drop the ¨s¨altogether. So, escuela becomes cuela. It is very confusing.



I just kind of feel like an ass fuck all of the time. I try so hard to help and speak, but no one understands what i am saying, so i end up making fool of myself.



Final thoughts--



This place has SO SO SO many amazing things to photograph, which gives me something to do. I will post photos in the future. I miss everyone and everything, but i know that this is something that will make me so much stronger and give me a totally new vision of my life. Ok, i have my first full day of school tomorrow and let me just say, FUCK TAM FOR NOT GIVING CREDIT FOR THIS YEAR. this is harder than any god-damn honors or A.P class, and it will impact me so much more.



thanks for reading

much love!

violeta

Barcelona!

Well well well, 

I have arrived in the wonderfully moist city that is Barcelona. The plane rides were pretty uninteresting. I had a window seat on each airplane I was on, (a total of three) which helped me catch a few hours of sleep. 

We arrived in Barcelona, 4:00 pm Spanish time, about 1:00 am California time. A small spanish woman named Maria Jose ushered us all onto a bus. When I say all, I am talking about 30-40 americans and 4 Germans. I fell asleep right away, so the bus ride seemed really short. 

At the hostel, it took about 30 minutes to get everyone in their rooms. People bring so much stuff. I am talking about two huge suitcases, and then $400 worth of stuff being shipped to their host families. I only have one suitcase, which seems like more than enough stuff, considering all of the fantastic spanish clothing I am going to buy!  The hostel is surprising nice, but they food they serve is terrible. The spanish programs leaders are awesome. They don't speak English that well, but are always laughing and yelling and pointing, which is how all Spaniards seem to communicate.  Maria Jose decided to take me under her wing, so during dinner, she told me I wasn't eating enough (or something along those lines) and started putting yogurt and milk onto my tray, gesturing and lisping all over my pasta with peas and bread roll. 

But, before dinner, we had two hours to "get settled" That was my lowest point throughout the whole weekend. I didn't like any of the kids who were in the hostel. They were all boring, a little bit stupid, and quite American. All they seemed to do was complain. I was really homesick, really really tired, confused, and still a little bit in shock because I was actually doing a year abroad. 

After dinner though, was where the fun began. I was going to be outside in the Barcelona warm rain and cry, but.....luckily, a few other students who will also be living in Cadiz found me and I went out with them, which was awesome. We had total freedom (but had to be back by ten) in a beautiful city,  and my leg numbing fear started to subside as I went searching for Spanish men to marry :)

Saturday was way more fun. I met this awesome girl (named Sydney) whose grandfather is the mayor of Oakland, and on the tour of Barcelona, we just giggled and fell asleep on the bus. After dinner, we went out with two Germans, one was my roommate, who speaks PERFECT english and her friend, Paul. Paul was very funny. His english was silly but better than my German or Spanish.  Sydney and I were talking about a one of the american leaders who was kinda of an asshole, and we told Paul that the leader was being a dick during the tour. Paul's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed "HE HAS A BIG DICK?!!?!?" That was the highlight of the evening. 

Sorry that once again, this is still very uninteresting. More things will happen when I meet my host family tomorrow and begin school on Monday!

Thanks for reading!

Fear in my belly.

Hello all, 

Wow! I can't believe that in less than 48 hours, I will be on plane, hurdling through the moon-lit sky towards Barcelona, Spain.  I am scared out of my mind.  I can't even being to imagine what my life will be like for the next nine months. 

I don't know how long this blog will last, but, if I am looking at my year abroad as a pregnancy, (36 weeks), then I should be posting until at least the end of the first trimester. 

I will be living in San Fernando, a small town just outside of the beautiful beach city, Cadiz, in Spain. My family seems pretty nice, but very different than anyone here in Tiburon or Mill Valley. Fina is the matriarch of my host family and Rafael is her husband, (but no Dr. Joe).  They have two children, Jose Manuel is 22 and Nazaret, 24, and her son, Manuel, who is 2. 

Well, this is a pretty boring post, and I guess I am just stalling so I don't have to start the long and terrible process of packing.  Thanks for reading, and the next time this blog is updated, I will be in SPAIN!

Here is a lovely photo of my host family